Getting Nervous

The nerves are starting to set in for sure. We feel so totally unprepared for this. There is only so much you can do, and we're trying to be realistic about the situation. BUT its still a little overwhelming.

The nursery is still a construction zone, and my pregnant brain decided that I needed the walls to be a green different than the green it currently is. So Dan is finishing up all the trim work after our closet rebuild and is hopfully going to get the *new* green on the walls today. Meanwhile there seems to be an explosion of baby items all over our house in every room because its all been moved to finish the construction/paint/flooring of the nursery. I have finished detagging, laundering and folding all the baby clothes but its all stacked in laundry baskets waiting for the closet system to be installed and the changing table and drawers to arrive. I will post pictures as soon as some progress has been made. Maybe once I get all the stuff settled into its place I'll feel better.

Meanwhile, I'm getting through work day by day. Dan is managing life at home and I think our dogs are very confused. Every night I sleep in a recliner (generously loaned by my father) in our room and Dan in our bed and the dogs just stare at us like "...um whats happening? this is so wierd... " Physically, I'm starting to feel like I'm on borrowed time and I'm wondering how much longer until I get assigned to strict bedrest. The contractions are getting stronger and more often. I've made it past a typical twin normal bedrest time so I'll just be grateful for that and try and just appreciate each day. My swelling seems to get worse by the day and I judge tasks by how much energy is required to get up from where I am sitting.

Last weekend two of my wonderful friends came over and weeded my gardens, planted all the spring/summer flowers and helped Dan and I clean out gardens, trim hedges and pot plants for the porch. What an awesome help. At least in a few weeks when my house is imploding from the inside out the front gardens will trick people into thinking we've got it under control so much that we even had time to do our garden. HA!

It's pretty daunting to know that the biggest life transition is about to happen to Dan and I (wayyyy bigger than getting married or bringing home a new puppy or going to grad school) and I have a.) no control b.) no idea of when it will occur. I suppose I could schedule a c-section or an induction, but that just seems so unnatural. So we're playing the "wait and see" game. Each afternoon when I leave for work, I lock my office door and I think to myself, hmmmm will I ever be back? My life feels like an extreme sport of suspense and physical feats. I can hardly even get myself dressed (you should have seen Dan putting the compression tights on me this morning! It was quite the scene... imagine a man trying to put the tighest longest socks known to mankind, on an 8 month pregnant-with-twins-woman who is sitting on the edge of the bed unable to reach her knees but attemping to "help"). And if I park my car too close to another car I have to repark because I can't fit inbetween close cars.

So thats where we're at. I'm 32 weeks along, and measuring at a 42 week pregnancy. Unless I have another set of multiples (God help us) I'll never be this big again. I refuse to buy more maternity clothes, and the belly has outgrown most of what I have, so if you see me in the same 3 outfits. I'm sorry, please don't judge.

It's incredible to think that in maybe even 3 weeks this could all be overwith and the real fun will begin. I can't wait to have these babies. I predict that after they enter the world I'll sit up in my hospital bed and feel better than I have felt in months. At least I'll be able to put on my own socks, but most importantly I'll have my babies. And maybe the nursery will even be painted.