update

I visited my favorite place again today, Labor and Delivery.
I'm home now and at the hospital we confirmed... yes, I am getting sicker. duh. Sick enough to stay in the hospital? no. I'm starting to think you have to be on death's doorstep to warrant a longer term stay.

The good news is that we have a pretty solid plan set up. I will return on Friday and we will begin the delivery plans. As in, we could have babies on Friday! We are planning on first attempting an induction with a c-section as a backup. We could get pushed back until Monday, but it won't be any longer than that.

We expect the girls to be totally healthy, there is no indication of any need for NICU level care at this point. A pediatrician today said that if we had them today they would stay and grow for maybe 10 days. So, if we had them in a few days, maybe they would only stay for a week, or less! There is no way to predict, but we are certainly hopeful.

For now, please pray that my body responds to induction and I can avoid major surgery!

34 weeks

There has been so much going on but I finally found a few minutes to update this blog.    It's been a pretty rough week but I'm happy to report that we seemed to have survived and have achieved a major milestone.  34 weeks.  This number is extremely meaningful to all twin-carrying women because it is the final frontier of baby safety.  Our babies have reached full fetal maturity and the likelihood of major health or developmental problems has dramatically dropped!  woohoo!!!!

Onto the events of the past week.  I think Dan would agree when I say its been the most difficult week of our pregnancy yet.  I have been hospitalized 4 times in 7 days.  Last Monday during my regular appointment it seemed that I had quickly developed a severe form of pre-eclampsia.  For those that don't know what that is, its a form of pregnancy induced hypertension that can range from mild to life threatening for the mother and babies.  Dramatic, I know. It's a cluster of symptoms that show up as a reaction in the mother's body and its like my body is just really angry at the placenta. If my body could talk it would be saying something like "thanks for these last 9 months, but honestly, I'm done now."   Maybe even a white surrender flag should be waving around.  There is nothing that a mother has done/could do to bring it on and the only cure is delivery. Twins are a major risk factor with this condition, but its a fairly common pregnancy complication. Also, after I deliver, the doctors say I'll feel better within hours. 

Back to the appointment... It's Monday and the doctor walks up to me (I'm only 33 weeks pregnant) and she says, you are very sick and we need to take the babies out. Probably now.   I melted down. It was NOT time yet.  I cried. I headed to Labor and Delivery and I got a bunch of testing and monitoring and the good news was that after a number of hours things started to calm down.  I ended up staying until Wednesday and was discharged to strict bedrest at home with instructions to come back if anything changed. The plan was to see how long we could manage it through bedrest, monitoring, fluids and diet before my body really tanked and we called this pregnancy quits.  So over the next few days I got worse and then better and then worse again, with lots of sickness, discomfort and frustration.  I would get sicker, go into the hospital, stabilize and then head home just to do it again within 2 days.   The doctors monitor me and the girls and make sure all my body chemistry is holding out.  It's lots of blood draws, monitors, cords, samples, etc.....  It's all a little scary, and the "lets wait and see how sick we will let you get" has been so hard on both Dan and I.  

By the end of the week I was able to talk with some specialists and they confirmed everything my regular doctors thought and told me the same plan: "Let's see how long (day by day) we can keep you going so that these girls get as many days in utero as possible"  They warned me that I will get sicker and I will become more and more miserable. (oh joy!)  They also said we would absolutely not let me go past 37 weeks (May 18) regardless of how good the pre-eclampsia was. I received some steroid shots for the babies lung's to help speed up development in case things got really bad, really quick. 

So everytime we would head into the hospital, we'd wonder:  are we having babies today?  The packing and unpacking, anxiety, anticipation, questions, mysteries, sickness, ... ugh. It's exhausting. 

So today is over, which means it's another day done.  That is a good thing for our girls.  I'm sick, but hanging in there.  My mom reminds me that this is all part of the lifelong sacrificing for your children because you love them. I'm looking forward to knowing that my girls are healthier (and clearly more likely to be geniuses) because we did out best to stick out some seriously sick times! 

So it's week 34 and I could very well deliver the babies this week, who knows what my health will be like and how I'll make it through the week.  I head into the doctor first thing in the morning so we will see how it goes.  

I'd also like to mention that Dan and I are so appreciative for all the support and prayer from everyone.  I've been totally incapacitated and Dan has had to manage a lot.  People dropping off dinners, visiting, calling and just letting us know they are here for us if we should need something has been so comforting. Thank you to everyone. We're already planning a killer "thank you party" for sometime this summer :) 

Is Caroline already not sharing????

Hi everyone-
I went to the doctor today for a growth u/s. The news was mixed.

Good news: heart rates both good, fluid levels both good, baby positions both good, mom's health = fine, everyone's body parts were in the right places.

Not as good news: They girls have reached a 25% difference in weight. Caroline weighs 4.5 lbs, and Charlotte only weighs 3.5 lbs. This is not ideal, but not yet a crisis. It could be a number of issues, but our main concern is Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome... which is when one baby hogs all the good stuff needed for growing. Is Caroline already not sharing? The umbilical blood supply to Charlotte (little baby) isn't as good as Caroline's. So what's happening? It could be that the machines measured incorrectly (apparently this is more common than you think). It could be that Caroline is already a chunky monkey. It could be that they are developing TTTS.

Bottom line is that I have to make a trip over to Maternal Fetal Medicine and see "the wizards" as my doctor called them today. They have bigger machines, and magic, and will be able to give us more definite answers. Hopefully, I'll be seeing them in the upcoming week. If in fact it is a real problem, we will deliver the babies and they will stay in the NICU for a bit.

I have clearly begun the decent into the end of this stage. I'm into weekly appointments now and my legs and feet swell like nothing I've ever imagined. ugh.

I stayed home from work this afternoon and Dan finished painting the nursery and our dresser/changing table just got delivered. I'm begging him to assemble it right now, as I sit on the couch drinking water and keeping the feet elevated.

If I had to guess, these babies are arriving in 3 weeks.

Getting Nervous

The nerves are starting to set in for sure. We feel so totally unprepared for this. There is only so much you can do, and we're trying to be realistic about the situation. BUT its still a little overwhelming.

The nursery is still a construction zone, and my pregnant brain decided that I needed the walls to be a green different than the green it currently is. So Dan is finishing up all the trim work after our closet rebuild and is hopfully going to get the *new* green on the walls today. Meanwhile there seems to be an explosion of baby items all over our house in every room because its all been moved to finish the construction/paint/flooring of the nursery. I have finished detagging, laundering and folding all the baby clothes but its all stacked in laundry baskets waiting for the closet system to be installed and the changing table and drawers to arrive. I will post pictures as soon as some progress has been made. Maybe once I get all the stuff settled into its place I'll feel better.

Meanwhile, I'm getting through work day by day. Dan is managing life at home and I think our dogs are very confused. Every night I sleep in a recliner (generously loaned by my father) in our room and Dan in our bed and the dogs just stare at us like "...um whats happening? this is so wierd... " Physically, I'm starting to feel like I'm on borrowed time and I'm wondering how much longer until I get assigned to strict bedrest. The contractions are getting stronger and more often. I've made it past a typical twin normal bedrest time so I'll just be grateful for that and try and just appreciate each day. My swelling seems to get worse by the day and I judge tasks by how much energy is required to get up from where I am sitting.

Last weekend two of my wonderful friends came over and weeded my gardens, planted all the spring/summer flowers and helped Dan and I clean out gardens, trim hedges and pot plants for the porch. What an awesome help. At least in a few weeks when my house is imploding from the inside out the front gardens will trick people into thinking we've got it under control so much that we even had time to do our garden. HA!

It's pretty daunting to know that the biggest life transition is about to happen to Dan and I (wayyyy bigger than getting married or bringing home a new puppy or going to grad school) and I have a.) no control b.) no idea of when it will occur. I suppose I could schedule a c-section or an induction, but that just seems so unnatural. So we're playing the "wait and see" game. Each afternoon when I leave for work, I lock my office door and I think to myself, hmmmm will I ever be back? My life feels like an extreme sport of suspense and physical feats. I can hardly even get myself dressed (you should have seen Dan putting the compression tights on me this morning! It was quite the scene... imagine a man trying to put the tighest longest socks known to mankind, on an 8 month pregnant-with-twins-woman who is sitting on the edge of the bed unable to reach her knees but attemping to "help"). And if I park my car too close to another car I have to repark because I can't fit inbetween close cars.

So thats where we're at. I'm 32 weeks along, and measuring at a 42 week pregnancy. Unless I have another set of multiples (God help us) I'll never be this big again. I refuse to buy more maternity clothes, and the belly has outgrown most of what I have, so if you see me in the same 3 outfits. I'm sorry, please don't judge.

It's incredible to think that in maybe even 3 weeks this could all be overwith and the real fun will begin. I can't wait to have these babies. I predict that after they enter the world I'll sit up in my hospital bed and feel better than I have felt in months. At least I'll be able to put on my own socks, but most importantly I'll have my babies. And maybe the nursery will even be painted.

Phone/email list...... It's about that time!

I'm just about 32 weeks pregnant, that means its only a few short weeks until we finally get to meet Caroline and Charlotte. Maybe even like 3-4 weeks! We're starting to think about the birthday/arrival home and we decided we need to create a phone list of sorts.

So, if you would like to get a text message/call when I'm in real labor, a call when its all over and email pictures of cute (nice, clean) babies (and mom), please reply to this post. No numbers/emails needed if you think we have your info (and if we need your info we'll ask).

This is getting exciting :)

Douglas

Dear Douglas,

It's been exactly one year since you left us here and went on to heaven. We miss you every day and continue to love you more- even though we can't see you now. Things sure have changed since you left, but I know that in your own way you know what's been going on. Sometimes we talk about how we would have given anything for you to be here, be a part of our day to day life and hold our soon-to-arrive precious girls. We are comforted by knowing that you have no pain, only joy, and that we will hug you again one day.

We love you. Always.

funny

I was on my usual hour long commute to work yesterday morning and I saw a car in front of me with a funny bumper sticker about twins.  It was a forest scene with a quote that said 

"Experience wildlife: Raise Twins."  It made me laugh so I googled some more just to see what the parents of multiples have to say. 

Here's a couple I found: